When Good Dates Turn Bad
by guest blogger, Chelsea of DatingSite.org

You can almost hear the music change in the background; the soft guitar plucking of a romantic-comedy turns into a violent piano concerto. Maybe it was a flubbed sentiment, or a mention of “forever” but you’ve taken a great night out and turned it into a Cosmopolitan article about bad dating.

Don’t panic! Everyone, including that judgmental face burning eyes in your forehead has made a similar mistake. The worst thing you can do is try to bullshit, or track down the one errand comment of the evening. Instead, simply be honest about your flub.

One successful tactic might be to take your time and think about something your partner said earlier in the conversation and relate it back to them. Whether you met through a dating site, or through a friend, chances are you have plenty of morsels of information stored in your memory (or Blackberry). The best solution is to make the evening about your date, not your boneheaded comment or move. It shows confidence when you can show interest in someone else’s life, so always be honest and redirect the conversation.

Let’s say you are on a date and your partner mentions that it was rude of you to have not opened the door to the restaurant. An improper response would be the defensive, “Oh, I meant to but you were moving too fast.” It’s likely dishonest and just makes you seem incapable of connecting with your partner’s frustration. A better response might be to repeat their sentiment, “Yeah, that wasn’t smart on my part. I apologize I wasn’t paying attention. I always like it when people hold the door for me.” This way you take a little blame but come out with confidence intact.

The worst dates are when the witty banter breaks down completely and your attempts at tactful conversational redirect are met with snarky, or combative quips. In desperate situations like these, it is sometimes best to recognize the problem and simply verbalize your frustration with the tone of the conversation. No one is so miserable as to become upset at someone for saying in earnest, “Hey, this date was going really well, and now we seem to be suffering from some miscommunication. Is something up? Did I upset you somehow?”

Honesty has a way of being both disarming and endearing. When used properly, the moments we are conditioned to lie about, like forgetting about something important, are actually opportunities to improve our standing in the date. Honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s your best dating tool.