They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said 'no, no, no'
Hi. My name is Josie. And I am a douchebag addict.
I have teetered on the edge of serial single and serial dating for years now. Thus, my blog. However, this year both sides of the fence have culminated into a gigantic, festering vat of emotionally draining energy.
I mean, things were to a point were Kaz and SlinkyChic insisted I audition for VH1’s Tough Love, a reality TV dating boot camp. Look, Slink even started filling out my application:
Q: Why do your friends think you are single?
“I would say you are single because, well, you have not yet found THE ONE, but THE ONE has not yet found you either. The potential future Mr. Josie has to GET YOU, and let you BE YOU. You are Little*, but not LITTLE in your attitude. I would say that you have a certain type and when your friends show you a potential MAN, you may not consider him upon the first review after the 2 seconds you have reviewed him from head to toe....plus usually when we go out it is late at night and usually quite dark and libations may be involved.”
And then she also added this in her email --
“I think your criteria may be very selective and narrow, meaning that you HAVE to have a man that falls w/n a list of your requirements if he EVEN gets as far as to talk to you...
Oh, and they LINGER..... they have to be long gone before you can move on!!! YOU HAVE hanger-oners... that are always there or come back. I have trouble typing on this little laptop, maybe we need to have a conversation all of us and make a conclusion as a group. We need to make this GOOD.”
Slink’s email was touching enough to make my eyes water and brutal enough to make my eyes water.
I am particular. Not particular like, “narrow, meaning a man must fall within a list of requirements,” but particular like a hot-house orchid; I have certain conditions I want THE ONE, as Slink put it, to meet.
These “hanger-oners” at one point did meet my “conditions”, but over time, fell out of favor for one reason or another – and stayed around. And, yes, some fell into the category of major douchebag – and stayed around.
I didn’t care. I didn’t care these “hanger-oners” weren’t THE ONE, they were someone to go to dinner with, on a long-weekend with – let’s be honest, I wasn’t in love with any of them. Hell, there were a few I didn’t even really like, never mind love. This leads me back to the culmination of a festering vat of emotionally draining energy… There were a few I did deeply care for (i.e., Ian) -- and one I was insanely in love with (i.e., the secret crush). But, the feelings were not returned.
Ian didn’t want to get married again, or live together, or spend lots of exorbitant time together, but he didn’t want to break up either. I thought I would be okay with his terms, I even called him, “Mr. Right Now” to his face. I guess, deep down, I thought he would eventually change his mind. Ah! Wait! I know what you are thinking! But let me add, Ian would also say things to make me believe his mind was changing. After a long weekend in Boston last month, I finally realized he never meant anything he said in terms of change – and was harshly reminded, leopards don’t change their spots.
The secret crush I have been referring to in my junior high school manor since the creation of my blog, is no longer secret. I think. I think he knows about the depth of my feelings, but with men, ladies you know, they mostly lack the ability to connect the dots – no matter how many degrees. But, at this point, does it really matter if he knows? It’s been a cat and mouse game of flirtation for the past year, however, he decided to stick with his current situation. I am heart broken, and worse, I feel stupid. He made himself clear – even if he did dabble with the idea of me – and he did dabble – you do not not bring up your current situation for this long without dabbling! Plus, he talked a big game. He dangled the proverbial carrot of many super fantastic, incredible projects/jobs/etc. on a stick in front of me, yet, meant none of them. I don’t know which is worse – being the girl not chosen or realizing the guy of my dreams could actually fall into the category with all the rest -- douchebag.
So, three weeks ago to the day, I put myself into douchebag rehab. (Kaz and Slink are extremely proud). No more accepting phone calls, emails or text messages. I have deleted all the “hanger-oners” out of my phone, email address book and social networks.
I have emptied and cleaned my festering vat – with bleach.
*VH1 Tough Love, Season 2 casting was closed when I went to submit my application.
*”Little” is one of my nicknames.
I have teetered on the edge of serial single and serial dating for years now. Thus, my blog. However, this year both sides of the fence have culminated into a gigantic, festering vat of emotionally draining energy.
I mean, things were to a point were Kaz and SlinkyChic insisted I audition for VH1’s Tough Love, a reality TV dating boot camp. Look, Slink even started filling out my application:
Q: Why do your friends think you are single?
“I would say you are single because, well, you have not yet found THE ONE, but THE ONE has not yet found you either. The potential future Mr. Josie has to GET YOU, and let you BE YOU. You are Little*, but not LITTLE in your attitude. I would say that you have a certain type and when your friends show you a potential MAN, you may not consider him upon the first review after the 2 seconds you have reviewed him from head to toe....plus usually when we go out it is late at night and usually quite dark and libations may be involved.”
And then she also added this in her email --
“I think your criteria may be very selective and narrow, meaning that you HAVE to have a man that falls w/n a list of your requirements if he EVEN gets as far as to talk to you...
Oh, and they LINGER..... they have to be long gone before you can move on!!! YOU HAVE hanger-oners... that are always there or come back. I have trouble typing on this little laptop, maybe we need to have a conversation all of us and make a conclusion as a group. We need to make this GOOD.”
Slink’s email was touching enough to make my eyes water and brutal enough to make my eyes water.
I am particular. Not particular like, “narrow, meaning a man must fall within a list of requirements,” but particular like a hot-house orchid; I have certain conditions I want THE ONE, as Slink put it, to meet.
These “hanger-oners” at one point did meet my “conditions”, but over time, fell out of favor for one reason or another – and stayed around. And, yes, some fell into the category of major douchebag – and stayed around.
I didn’t care. I didn’t care these “hanger-oners” weren’t THE ONE, they were someone to go to dinner with, on a long-weekend with – let’s be honest, I wasn’t in love with any of them. Hell, there were a few I didn’t even really like, never mind love. This leads me back to the culmination of a festering vat of emotionally draining energy… There were a few I did deeply care for (i.e., Ian) -- and one I was insanely in love with (i.e., the secret crush). But, the feelings were not returned.
Ian didn’t want to get married again, or live together, or spend lots of exorbitant time together, but he didn’t want to break up either. I thought I would be okay with his terms, I even called him, “Mr. Right Now” to his face. I guess, deep down, I thought he would eventually change his mind. Ah! Wait! I know what you are thinking! But let me add, Ian would also say things to make me believe his mind was changing. After a long weekend in Boston last month, I finally realized he never meant anything he said in terms of change – and was harshly reminded, leopards don’t change their spots.
The secret crush I have been referring to in my junior high school manor since the creation of my blog, is no longer secret. I think. I think he knows about the depth of my feelings, but with men, ladies you know, they mostly lack the ability to connect the dots – no matter how many degrees. But, at this point, does it really matter if he knows? It’s been a cat and mouse game of flirtation for the past year, however, he decided to stick with his current situation. I am heart broken, and worse, I feel stupid. He made himself clear – even if he did dabble with the idea of me – and he did dabble – you do not not bring up your current situation for this long without dabbling! Plus, he talked a big game. He dangled the proverbial carrot of many super fantastic, incredible projects/jobs/etc. on a stick in front of me, yet, meant none of them. I don’t know which is worse – being the girl not chosen or realizing the guy of my dreams could actually fall into the category with all the rest -- douchebag.
So, three weeks ago to the day, I put myself into douchebag rehab. (Kaz and Slink are extremely proud). No more accepting phone calls, emails or text messages. I have deleted all the “hanger-oners” out of my phone, email address book and social networks.
I have emptied and cleaned my festering vat – with bleach.
*VH1 Tough Love, Season 2 casting was closed when I went to submit my application.
*”Little” is one of my nicknames.
Posted by JosieM111 at 28 Jul 2009, 3:26 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: dating single life comedy VH1 Tough Love
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: dating single life comedy VH1 Tough Love
I'm proud too! Way to kick em to the curb. Be strong-the One is out there, but you've got to clear out the playing field so he has a fair chance. Hangers-on just muck things up and cloud your mind. You can do this!
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Thanks DG -- you are the freaking best!
How are things with Match??
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Things are great, thanks for asking! We're keeping busy and that keeps things fresh. Unfortunately makes for boring blogs.
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I am sooo proud of you!! Now that the hanger-oners are no longer, great things are going to happen. And when you very least expect it!!!
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I am proud of my "little" and hope only the best for the best of my friends... Good times are to come for you!!! And your best friends kaz and slink will always be there!!
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We came over from Date Girl's site. We love her!!
Funny post and touching! The Dating Scene can be grueling, exhilarating, annoying, wonderful and tiring all at once.
One note: Guys can connect the dots, but often they pretend they can't. It's a defense mechanism.
OK, fine, they're probably lame.
We wish you the best in finding THE ONE.
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Hey! Sorry my response is beyond belated....it's seems I have feel off the face of the earth for a spell....but, I am back!
I love Date Girl, too!
I am in the "tiring all at once" part of the infested cess-pool of the dating scene cycle.
Your comment is a perspective I never thought of before -- playing dumb as a defense. Hmm. Interesting.
Thanks so much for commenting -- and check back often as I will be posting more frequently!
xoxox
J.
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Hi Josie, I'm just getting into your blog, and I'm really enjoying it so far! Great stuff. I had to laugh at the part of this entry though, where your friend recommended you for dating boot camp on VH1. Would you actually do it?
I only ask because I had an ...ummm ... 'interesting' encounter with someone who clearly watches a little too much seduction-themed programming on VH1, not so long ago.... http://ayearofkissingfrogs.blogspot.com/2009/12/t-pick-up-artist.html
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Hello!
My apologies for a belated response to your post -- Thanks for visiting and commenting!
Thank you for all your kind comments - *blush*
Well, as VH1's Tough Love, Season 2 unfolds, I have come to realize I would have never have been picked because I am only a mere loser magnet, not full-blown headcases which makes up this season's cast.
I read your blog -- wacky stuff! That is a new one -- dating a guy who is taking cues from a douche-bag in a fuzzy hat.
Keep stopping back and I will jump the pond over to your blog as well.
Cheers!
J.
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Great to hear from you chica! Yes, I'm so excited I'm getting married. You need to catch us all up on your battles through the dating jungle!! Glad to know you're still out there somewhere. I was afraid you'd fallen off the earth!
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