I am so not a morning person.

I rely on my morning routine to be routine so I can do as little thinking as possible until the proportion of coffee is greater than blood circulating through my body.

My mornings consist of peeling myself out of bed after incessantly hitting the snooze button for at least a half hour while fending off a cat or two usually standing directly on my sternum and tapping me on the forehead, shuffling down the hallway to turn on the Today Show, circulating back to the kitchen to feed my Pavlov cats, completing the loop when I shower and get ready in the bathroom.
                                                                   However, lately, while sipping coffee out of one hand and holding my curling iron with other, with the TV on in the background, I find myself waking up too fast – and on the verge of panic. The Today Show spews and bombards its viewers with the filth and the fury of non-stop vignettes of how to function in every part of your every day life. In the time it takes to curl two sections of my head, I had Sid Vicious Lauer and Johnny Rotten Vieira saturate me with how to make set the perfect table for entertaining with segment guest, Martha Stewart, of course, what funds my retirement money should be invested in and dating advice from a nine-year old.

Wouldn’t you think there is enough anarchy in the morning with the mere task of getting out of bed, getting dressed and getting out the door?  Now, I have to freak out about table cloths, Roth IRAs and seeking dating advice from someone my niece’s age? And, all before 8:30AM?